Fred and George's Believe It or Not!
by The Makers of Mayhem
Summary: Fred and George are at it again! Chapter 3 is up! R&R!
1. Conversation with Fred and George!

Lindir: Before you read this story, you might want to know some things about us. Our names are Lindir and Glorfindel (pennames only), a.k.a. the Makers of Mayhem!

Glorfindel: Just so you know we are girls, whatever our pennames tell you.

Lindir: To start us off, we will have a conversation with Fred and George Weasly!

Fred: Thanks for having us, guys!

Glorfindel: We're girls. ( glare )

Lindir: Hey, Glorfindel! I have a new saying!

Glorfindel: What is it?

Lindir: It compensates for, "You are…"

Glorfindel: GET ON WITH IT!

Lindir: You have oddities about you!

Glorfindel: So do you!

Lindir: I know! That's why we are writing this story!

( walks away )

Later with Fred and George…

Glorfindel: I think you should know the truth about Lindir! Read this! ( evil laugh )

George takes paper and reads:

"Lindir is a stupid idiot who can't do 1 plus 1!"

Lindir: Hey! What're you doing?

Glorfindel: Nothing! ( hides paper behind her back ) Just writing some stuff for the story!

Lindir: I bet you wrote, "Lindir is a stupid idiot who can't do 1 plus 1 equals 2!"

Glorfindel: No!

Fred and George: Liar!

Glorfindel: No I'm not! I wrote that she can't do 1 plus 1, not 1 plus 1 equals 2! (sneaky)

Lindir: AGGGGHHHHH! ( lunges at Glorfindel )

Fred and George: Lindir is a fat cow!

Glorfindel: I like cows!

Lindir: ( turns beet red )

Glorfindel and Lindir: We want to tell you that our real names are…

Fred and George: ( snicker )

Lindir: ( presses headphone in ear ) What? We can't _ever_ say our real names? Oh. OK. Sorry folks! That is classified information not to be touched!

Glorfindel: If Fred or George ever try to say our real names or ages…

Lindir: Don't listen!

Glorfindel: They don't know what they're saying!

Lindir: This is the end of our intro! Keep reading if you ever want to find out what happens when Fred and George change the course of the future…

Glorfindel: FOREVER!

Lindir and Glorfindel: Fred and George's Believe it or NOT!


	2. Peeves' Revenge!

Lindir: Hi guys! thanx for hanging in there, and sorry for the long wait!

Glorfindel: Yeah, we had tons of homework.

Lindir: So, without further ado…

Lindir and Glorfindel: Welcome to the second chapter of Fred and George's Believe It or Not!

(Fred in Masterpiece Theater clothes)

Fred: Welcome to Fred and George's Humorous Tales. Today's story is about Peeves' Revenge. I…

Lindir and Glorfindel: CUT THE CRAP! (Fred takes off the Masterpiece Theater clothes)

Fred: All right, but you hired me to do this job! And… (thinks) I DEMAND A RAISE!

Glorfindel: Aww, shut up! Just do your job!

Lindir: GET ON WITH IT!

Fred: (Puts on cowboy boots and hat, in southern accent) I'm gonna tell y'all 'bout Peeves' Revenge!

Lindir and Glorfindel: NOOOOOO!

Harry, Ron, and Hermione: NOOOOOO!

Dumbledore, McGonagall, Snape: NOOOOOO!

Voldemort and Wormtail: NOOOOOO!

Lily and James Potter, and Sirius Black up in heaven: NOOOOOO!

Glorfindel: Hey, you're dead. Shut up!

Lindir: That's insulting!

Couple in Antarctica on Wedding day:

Priest: Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?

Bride: NOOOOOO!

Groom: Why'd you come here, then?

Polar Bears: GRRRRRR!

Lindir: It's "NOOOOOO!" not "GRRRRRR" you people!

Polar Bear #1: Hey! We're not people, we're Polar Bears!

Polar Bear #2: We demand Civil Liberties!

Regis Philbin: (on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire") Is that your final answer?

Guy on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire": NOOOOOO!

Regis Philbin: Geez! Take a chill pill man!

Whole world: NOOOOOO!

Aliens in space: ZYXWVUTSRQPONMLKJIHGFEDCBA! (Translation: NOOOOOO!)

Fred: Where's George, anyway?

George: I'm in the shower! NOOOOOO!

Fred: ARRRGGG! I mean… NOOOOOO!

Glorfindel: Gland we're done with that.

Lindir: Let's get on to the story!

-Inside Peeves' Revenge-

Narrator: One day Peeves decided he was tired of get yelled at by Filch and pushed around by the Bloody Baron. Using high-tech equipment, he recorded Filch's voice and made it sound like he was saying bad things about the Bloody Baron. Peeves takes, shows, and plays the tape for the Bloody Baron.

Bloody Baron: No way Peeves. You did something.

Peeves: I'm sorry Mister Bloody Baron, sir, but this time I'm right and your wrong.

Narrator: Peeves walks away. More like glides.

Bloody Baron's thoughts: I'm going to get Filch back for this. There's going to be a lot of screams coming from Filch's dormitory tonight. Hee, hee, hee!

-That night-

Narrator: The Bloody Baron enters Filch's dormitory… Did you know my underwear has little pink hearts on it? My sister has a matching pair! They were given to her by my uncle's, wife's, brother's, babysitter's, great aunt's, oldest sister's old college roommate! I got mine at Wal-Mart!

Glorfindel: That's just sick!

Lindir: And wrong!

Glorfindel: What do you think, couple from Antarctica?

Husband: That's it! Let's get out of here! Let's go to Africa! Where they can't find us!

Lindir: Anyway… Narrator, You're sacked!

Former Narrator: Why me! (sniff)

Glorfindel: Because you're sick, gross and…

Lindir: WRONG! Well, this is basically what happened next. The Bloody Baron haunted Filch in his dreams. Now let's get back to the inside of the story:

Filch: ARRRGGG! NOOOOOO!

Glorfindel: Not that again!

Lindir: And that concludes the first chapter of Fred and George's Believe It or Not! This is, in fact, the first chapter. The last one was an into…

Fred and George: CUT THE CRAP!

-THE END-

FG come out in top hats and canes doing a tap dance.

Lindir: That was supposed to be the end, you dopes!

FG keep dancing.

Glorfindel: Oh my god…(shakes head)

Please review! Of course, constructive criticism is EXPECTED! So please… REVIEW!


	3. How Fred and George Almost Defeated Vold...

A/n Hi again! We're so glad that you read our story, and I hope you'll tell more crazy people like us about it! Sorry about the big wait. We didn't delete our story. The Webmaster deleted it for no apparent reason! We were so mad at them. But we got over it. So, without any doubt… The Second Chapter of Fred and George's Believe It or Not!

Glorfindel: This time, we'll start with a RRREEEAAALLL beginning, unlike the last one!

Lindir: That was a complete disaster.

Glorfindel: Right, now… oh god…

Fred and George come out in cowboy suits.

Fred and George: YYYEEEEEHHHAAAAWWW!

Lindir: This is the story of how Fred and George almost defeated Voldemort!

New Narrator: One day, Wormtail and Voldemort devised a foolproof plan… or so they thought. Their plan was, don't ask how, to turn Voldemort into Harry temporarily and kill the people in Hogwarts, blah, blah, blah…

Glorfindel: I like this new Narrator!

Narrator: Anyway, this is what happened when Voldemort broke into Hogwarts!

-Inside Story-

Narrator: Fred and George had already planned to steal Professor Trelawney's perfume and attack Harry with it.

Fred: I can't wait to see the look on Harry's face when he smells like Professor Trelawney.

George: It was so smart of you to put a Sticking Charm on it! Now he'll smell like her for two whole days!

Fred: Unless, of course, he takes a bath in lemons and tomatoes… I wonder which he'd rather do!

Lindir: What do you think, people from Antarctica?

(Talking to flight attendant on plane to Africa)

Guy (Alfredo): I'll have the ginger ale, the turkey sandwich, a Caesar Salad…

Flight Attendant: Would you like some pineapple with your turkey sandwich, sir?

Alfredo: Pineapple? I've never had that before. I'll try it! (Notices Glorfindel and Lindir)

Oh, no! You're here again. BEBE!

Girl (Bebe): (very loud and very out of tune, listening to the radio) I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYIN' TO BE LATELY!

Glorfindel: Okay, that's enough of that! Let's get back to the story!

Narrator: Fred and George see Voldemort disguised as Harry, ready with the perfume.

PUFF! PUFF!

Fred and George: HA, HA HARRY!

Voldemort: (In hoarse voice) COUGH! GAG! ALLERGIES! COUGH! ALLERGIC…

COUGH… TO… COUGH… LAVENDER!

Lavender Brown: Hey! Learn some manners, Harry!

Voldemort: I'M… COUGH, COUGH…VOLDEMORT… COUGH…YOU STUPID… COUGH, COUGH… KIDS!

Fred: Harry, get a life!

George: You don't really expect us to believe you're Voldemort! Voldemort definitely isn't THAT wimpy!

Voldemort: HEY! COUGH! WORMTAIL! (Holds out arms and waves them around in front of him, trying to see) WHERE'S THE EXIT SIGN!

Wormtail: Over here, Master!

Fred: Really, Harry, enough is enough!

George: Someday, you should be an actor! (Walks away)

Fred: We sure got him!

George: But that was really weird! Do you think that was actually Voldemort?

Fred: (ponders thoughtfully) Nah, not a chance! But if that was, he sure is wimpy.

Voldemort: Hey! You hurt my feelings… twice!

Glorfindel: God, could it get any worse?

George: Lamb Chop! (Fat Lady swings forward)

Ron: Hey, Fred, George, you're just in time! Lee Jordan just got a T.V. and it's got… what's it called again?

Lindir: (Shakes head) Cable, Ron, it's called cable!

Ron: Right! I know that!

Fred notices Harry in the common room.

Fred: Harry! How'd you get here? Can you Apparate yet?

Harry: Uh… no…

George: B-b-but you were just down on the first floor!

Harry: (Sleepily) No… I've… been up here… drinking butterbeer…just… having… fun… (Sways dangerously)

Fred: Wow, Harry…

T.V: Now it's time for WWN! The Wizerding Weather Network! It's time for Most Requested Weather! We just got a request for rain in Bristol from a nice little witch who wants her pansies and Longbottom Leaf to grow, of course to sell it to Merry and Pippin. And a call for snow in Norwich, from a girl who wanted a snow day… which is odd, seeing as it's June… and her name is… gosh, she must have weird parents… Xymnchysupercalifragilisticexpialidocious Chia, pronounced… SEE-YUH! Oh, we've got another call, he wants to go on speakerphone!

Guy: I'LL DATE HER!

T.V. Host: Uh… That's all for now folks!

Lee turns of the T.V.

Ron: Let's read the Daily Prophet! (Ron reads) "According to a local spy, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has disguised himself as Harry Potter. If you see Harry, watch out!

George: OH MY GOSH!

Fred: WE ALMOST KILLED HIM!

Both: AAARRRGGG… NOOOOOO!

Glorfindel: This time, I'll just say "no," too! NOOOOOO!

Lindir: Me too! NOOOOOO!

Everyone who said "no" in the last chapter says: NOOOOO!

The End!

A/n We hope you enjoyed this chapter! Keep reading and please, constructive criticism would be nice!


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